'TIME-TRAVELER' BUSTED FOR INSIDER TRADING
Weekly World News -- Wednesday March 19, 2003
By CHAD KULTGEN
NEW YORK -- Federal investigators have arrested an enigmatic Wall Street wiz on insider-trading charges -- and incredibly, he claims to be a time-traveler from the year 2256!
Sources at the Security and Exchange Commission confirm that 44-year-old Andrew Carlssin offered the bizarre explanation for his uncanny success in the stock market after being led off in handcuffs on January 28.
"We don't believe this guy's story -- he's either a lunatic or a pathological liar," says an SEC insider.
"But the fact is, with an initial investment of only $800, in two weeks' time he had a portfolio valued at over $350 million. Every trade he made capitalized on unexpected business developments, which simply can't be pure luck.
"The only way he could pull it off is with illegal inside information. He's going to sit in a jail cell on Rikers Island until he agrees to give up his sources."
The above article about a time travelling stock broker came to my attention in late March 2003 as it was circulating through the net a few friends of Andy's Anachronisms forwarded me the article. Apparently YAHOO posted this story under their TV News section called Entertainment News & Gossip [see link below] and somehow some mainstream news agencies picked up the story.
What's fascinating about this story is how it's taken on a life of its own. A quick GOOGLE search for Andrew Carlssin turns up 442 references [April 8, 2003]. I largely attribute it to the fascination of people of making easy money in bad times. Assuming for five seconds that some did travel back in time to play the market, it seems highly unlikely that they would pick 2002 as time to profit on the market. Anyone making such fantastic gains when everyone else is losing their shirt is bound to look suspcious to regulators. Why not travel back to the early 1980s when the market was booming. Such gains would be easier to make and stand a better chance of going unnoticed.
Kudos to Chad Kultgen for this creative piece of fiction.